So lets be real. I live in a very interesting part of VA… verrrrrry interesting. Good ole’ Roanoke. And because my life is just nuts, my parents decided to move to Richmond. So that is happening. Actually how I found out about that was pretty funny. I got off the plane, had been traveling for like 14 hours or something and crying for most of that time, and my mom goes “Hey honey!! I’m so glad to see you! We bought a house in Richmond today!” Awesome mom. Thank you for that heads up. So boom double culture shock.
Now pretty much I’ve just been lamping around my parents house, annoying them when realators and stuff come over because I am such a bum. To be fair I have applied for a LOT of jobs, both English and French, but no one has called me. So until I get a job, I’m going to be laying out by the poolio in my backyard, drinking wine, and occasionally going for a run. Oh and listening to obscene amounts of country music.
I have yet to venture down to Walmart, because I’m pretty sure I can’t handle that. However, I did go to a clA$$ic Roanoke event, First Fridays, where most of the great unwashed of the city come out to drink some burrs and hit on lonely women. Ill be honest, I saw groups of 30 something women trolling for husbands. You could see the desperation in their eyes. Anyways there was a band who was pretty good. They were a Journey cover band and I’ll be honest I like Journey so that was coolio, or nickel as French people say.
we’re with the band ya’ll be jelz
hottiez
you aren’t steve perry!!! you impostor!! but check out those groupies!
coattails of awesomness
So that has been my life. Yay America! Good Lord someone get me a plane ticket back to France…
So update time! I am now done with work (insert sad face here) so I’ve just been chillin’ like a villain… u kno how I do. Ok that was awkward. Anyways so update! I have been actually having a great few weeks! Last weekend I went to a crocodile farm!!!! If your mind is currently being blown by how awesome a crocodile farm is, your brain is totally right. IT WAS AWESOME!!!!! SO. MANY. CROCS. So freaking awesome! I’m not sure why there is a crocodile farm in the middle of France but whatevs, it kicked a$$.
walking in to haunt your dreamz
just letting you think they are lazy, just asking you to come closer…
american alligator… usa! usa! usa!
Then this week I went to the beach in Toulon. Toulon is a port city and has one of France’s naval bases. I visited it for a day in October and I wanted to go back and get my bronze on. And you better believe I got my bronze on, or should I say burn on. I am fried but in a good way! Except that I couldn’t wear a bra yesterday because my back hurt too much. The price you pay for beauty. Anyways it was beautiful and the food was wonderful. I ate salmon lasagne which was da bomb diggity. I know it sounds weird but it wasn’t it was awesome. I also saw a submarine, and a LOT of naked old grandmas. A lot. Also I spotted an old man playing volleyball in a turquoise speedo, socks, and sneakers. I wish I had taken a picture.
mediteranean coast!!!
check out that submarine yo!! time for france to get her spy on
gettin my bronze on yo
Well on my last days at school, a lot of my kids wrote me letters/cards/etc. and some of them are adorable/funny. Here are some pictures of them:
this girl drew me with a nicki minaj butt… nice
i’m not sure what is going on here but maybe an american disco party? also “amerique” is spelled wrong… amerque what uppp
titanic…why???
french flag, shark fins (requin is shark in french), and virginie (virginia in french)… maybe this is a modernist interpretation of my trip home?
Anyways I’ll be back stateside in 7 days exactly. WIZZEIRD!!! How am I going to continue this blog in the US? Maybe I’ll get clever up in hurr and start talking about food or something. Not that that is super clever but schwatevz. Anyways
So because I’m being a lazy crazy girl (do you like that? I just came up with it boom!) I havn’t uploaded any of my pictures from Switzerland and Italy so I’ll try to get around to those posts (too much fun for 1!) Friday or this weekend. Maybe.
So today at school, in the Spandex King’s class we were talking about the US geography and all the neat things we have in there (Mt. Rushmore bitches!) and when we were talking about Washington DC the Spandex King goes (in French), ” I heard there were a lot of blacks there” I guess because I’m socially awkward, I said ” black what? Cars?” To which he laughed and goes “HA no. People. Anyways, the next city we will look at is Miami, which is filled with Cubans.”
I’m never going to work with such unintentionally funny people ever again.
Hopefully I’ll stop having mental breakdowns about my life this week and update on my vacations which were super! Also if you have a chance and want to watch a really weird French movie, watch “Perfume: the Story of a Murderer” I watched it last night with my boyfriend and it was super weird, the ending especially. ::Shiver:: but it was French so you know it was good. Also Snape is in it sooo… get on it!
So we all know France is pretty crazy. It’s one of the reasons I love this country so much, you just never know what is going to happen. This weekend there was a giant fair. If I could compare it to something, it’d be like the Salem Fair in Roanoke in July. So if you have ever been to that well you know… ::shudder:: So think, Salem Fair but in Nyons. So apart from all the rides and the hillbillys coming in from the countryside hollows (you always know exactly who those people are, some things don’t change no matter what country you are in), there was a giant parade both days. In America an Easter parade would probably just be filled with giant bunnies and eggs and chicks and lots of pastel colors.
In France, nothing could be farther from the truth. I saw more people in blackface yesterday than I have seen in my life… Oh and people trying to be Asian… I mean I know people in France are not PC at all, but… REALLY?? And on top of that none of the floats made sense… Homer Simpson, Popeye, Buddah, the Taj Mahal, the Loch Ness Monster complete with children dressed as the Grim Reaper. That one confused me the most… maybe they are trying to say the LNM will eat everyone? Idk but it sprayed water out of its mouth which although cool, was not fun when I dont want it. So I took a bunch of pictures of all the random floats and so voila, here you go!
D'oh!
hey popeye give me summa dat spinach!!!
it's nessie holla!!! notice the people wearing plaid... thats how you know its nessie
scottish grim reaper children? i don't get it...
best blackface i could capture... as far as I can tell thats supposed to be in africa?
taj mahal bitches
another african float... i think? maybe carribean? honestly who knows but that guy looks like hes about to stab the lady with a spear
buddah wishes you a happy easter
my worst nightmare!!! BZZZZZ
I’m all for cultural diversity, but I’m pretty sure this is how you should NOT do it. But on a bright note, there were “American Country Dancers” who preformed a line dance to Luke Bryan’s “Country Girl.” Yee-haw diggity dawg! Still, wondering what this has to do with Easter but eh some things will never be answered.
I also learned a joke in French… BMW in French is pronounced bei-em-doubleh-vei. The word for foot is “pied” pronounced “pe-ei.” I’m sure you see where this is going. Well if you are walking you can say “yeah I took my BM double pied” (doubleh-pe-ei)… GET IT??? Don’t worry it took me a while too but now I know it and boom joke. But I’d probably try to tell it and be really awkward while doing and and everyone would hate me. But thats the price you pay sometimes.
Well in other news, I’m off to SWIZZ aka Switzerland on Friday and Rome on Monday! Can’t wait! Time to get my culture on peeps. Be jelz!
So I was working with the Spandex King on a family/description/random unit. I’m confused about what the theme was. But at some point it turned into descriptions. I’m just going to put it out there that I’m really bad at describing people in English. I tend to describe people by “fat, skinny, tall, and not tall” and then usually what they are wearing. I don’t properly utilise the English language. Anyways the SK is the same age as my dad (mid 50s) but I thought he was like 70 for the longest time until he randomly told me what year he was born, which was kind of a weird conversation. The fact that hes 55ish and I thought he was 70 should tell you something.
So we had just revised the descriptor words (big, small, tall, thin, fat, ugly, beautiful, old, young) and then SK looks at me and goes “describe me.” I was like oh no… Because how do you be polite when you call someone old? So because I’m horrifyingly awkward sometimes, I go “well um you are tall…i guess… um you have blue eyes… um and you are wearing a red sweater and black shoes” He looks at me and goes “that was actually horrible” well gee thanks…
Then one of the students start to describe him and the student goes “you have white hair” to which he FREAKED out. He was like, “WHITE HAIR!!!! I DO NOT HAVE WHITE HAIR!!! Meaghan what color is my hair??” which to be honest, his hair is that weird blonde/gray/white color that happens once you turn 50 and you were blonde back in the day. So what do you say to someone who might be in denial about their age?
The SK is staring at me and I’m just standing there like WHAT THE HELL DO I DO, so because I’m awkward, I stuttered out “um maybe it is kind of sorta whiteish grayish blonde?” Then I realized he didn’t understand my butchering of English “kind of sorta wihiteish” meant nothing to him because those are words and expressions he has never heard. All he heard was “blonde” and that was all he needed to hear. He goes “see class? I am not old, I am beautiful with blonde hair! Strong too!”
If you say so Spandex King, if you say so.
Mego
Here is a random picture of a grotto in Avignon... just because
My students wrote an article about me plus pictures of me in action, changing lives and teaching english like a boss
Here is the link click it!!!! It is in French but here is what it says in English:
“Meaghan is our new English assistant, here is a little bit about her: She is from Virgina which the capitol is Richmond and is south of Washingon. In her region it is as cold as Nyons. She is 22 years old. For sports she plays lacrosse (mostly played in the US) and running. She was born in Alexandria next to Washington because her parents lived there at the time. She was supposed to go to Grenoble but came to Nyons because she likes traveling and it is easier in France. She can’t livve in France because she needs a work visa. This is not her first time in our country. She lived in Brittany for four months in 2009. Meaghan does not like people who smoke, especially in the streets. She doesn’t know what she will do later. Her favorite animal is the cat. Her weakness is seafood. Her work contract will soon be finished and she leaves at the end of April, how sad!
This is pretty far off of what I told these kids but hey they are like 10 so pretttty good work dudes!
French people love American music. It is all over the radio here, playing in cafés, the public transportation… you can’t escape it. My favorite is when it’s all old stuff from the 70s and 80s. Well I have just come home from our weekly market and while I was there browsing through the used book stand I realized the song that was playing in one of the stands nearby was, “Take Me Home Country Roads” by John Denver. The conclusion I’ve drawn is that French people love this song. Remember when i couch surfed in Grenoble and the guy I stayed with insisted on playing it on his guitar repeatedly? Yeah…that happened. I just think it’s kind of a strange song because its so America-centric, I mean you can’t have more pride than “Almost Heaven, West Virginia Blue Ridge Mountains Shenandoah Valley… West Virginia mountain mama…” I feel like this is just another example of how random people in France are haha.
Well in other news the lice outbreak has continued to BOTH of my schools now. I’m living in constant fear that I will unfortunately contract it. I’m trying to keep the children at more than an arm’s length. However this has been going on for almost two weeks so, I think I’ve got pretty good chances. I’m still mildly concerned that no one told me at either school. If theres some weird infectious disease outbreak at my schools will they tell me then? Probably not, they’ll probably just let me get turned into a zombie with the rest of them. I have decided that in the event of a zombie outbreak while I’m in France, I’m going into hiding at the high school here. It looks like a prison and is surrounded by olive fields. I think I’d have some pretty good odds there. You can never be too prepared.
(I’d like to embed a video or picture of the lice check scene in Billy Madison, but unfortunately the internet failed me)
So at one of my schools (the one I don’t like) there is a teacher I’ll call Mrs. Anger Management. She is really nice to me, but in a sort of backhanded way. I make posters for her every week and shes says things like “oh this looks nice, but the corners on three pictures aren’t fully glued down so it is kind of sloppy. don’t they teach you how to glue in America?” Or my favorite comment was “oh you don’t look as nice as you did yesterday.” Like did she really need to say that? It’s not like I looked like a hobo, one day I wore a dress and the other day I wore pants… Anyways she FLIPS OUT on the students all the time, I mean like 0-60 in .003 seconds. On Tuesday we were working on the parts of the body with some drawings and she looks at one kid’s paper and was like “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING? NO APPARENTLY YOU DON’T!!!!” grabbed his paper and ripped it in half!!!!!! I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to react to that but I’m pretty sure I was just standing there with my mouth open. Not very professional haha.
I feel like this could happen any day now…
In exciting, non-school related news… I AM GOING TO BARCELONA!!!!!!! I can’t wait!!! I’m going the Feb 11-14, then America 15-22 and Greensboro the 17-19 where I will see ERIC CHURCH in concert YESSS, cannot WAIT
No need to complicate he's a simple man...
OH can’t believe I forgot to mention this story… well for this whole medical exam thing we have to get X-rays done to check and see if we have TB (although considering I’ve been here for almost 5 months I think it’d be a little late if I did have it…). As you know, pregnant women can’t have X-rays done. Well at the office the woman looks at me and goes, “are you pregnant [in French]” and I respond, in French, “no I am not” and she looks me up and down and says “are you sure? you know pregnant… a baby inside you” and I was like “yes I understand and no there is no baby inside me” and then she says in English, “baby yes pregnant yes.” Apparently to this woman I looked pregnant, which I don’t get because I’m actually the thinnest I’ve been in a year. Maybe she just thinks American girls are slutty… who knows but I was wearing a turtleneck and sweater soooo that would be the opposite of that… anyways it is a mystery. Also she didn’t ask my two friends if they were pregnant, just me. Awesome.
So as many of you know, my life is generally one disaster after another, and I’m really unsure of how I manage to survive on a daily basis. When I say disaster, I mean like relative to my life, like how I managed to get all my credit cards cancelled my very first day in France…that was pretttttty awesome. Well I have a few addictions that are pretty serious, one being coffee, and another being my computer which provides me with pretty much all my entertainment (music, skype, american tv, the news, salacious celebrity gossip…) so not having it is like a death sentence. Sure I do spend a lot of time reading and knitting and cooking and coloring, but I can’t be a domestic goddess ALL the time. Even Betty Crocker needs her Perez Hilton fix. So in my wonderful Christmas travels I did so awesome at not losing ANYTHING. I managed to keep my gros-sacs in control and not lose a single item. I was so proud of myself because generally I lose everything (finding my keys in my 1 room apartment is generally a challenge). Flash forward to Tuesday night when I realize I left my computer charger in Paris and I only had 5% battery left. OH SHEESH YA’LL, twas not a dream. What’s a MAC girl to do in a PC world in France? Hop on the first bus up to Montelimar (closest MAC retailer) and buy a new charger… The good news is, my new one isn’t held together by masking tape… YAY for progress!
Anyways, Holidaze update timez!! Paris was fun! The city is definitely growing on me but I’m still unsure if it is a city I could ever live in. I did a fair amount of shopping while there, which was great because now I have some fabulous pretty new things! I did go on a freaking wild goose chase all over the city after this one pair of shoes. Granted these shoes are totally bad ass and I’m so obsessed with them and I wish I could wear them every day but unfortunately sparkly 5in high heels are not acceptable every day wear except for if you are Lady Gaga which I am unfortunately not haha. Anyways I saw them in Strasbourg and I was like “dang those shoes are hot. I need them for New Years. Eh, I’ll get them in Paris I don’t need be more of a bag lady than I already am.” Well after going to SIX stores in Paris I finally found them. Apparently every girl in France wants to wear these same shoes in size 7. I mean who can blame them? They are so awesome!!!! That was probably the most exciting thing I did there haha. I wanted to spend a day in the cemetery Pere Lachaise (creepy! I know but really its cool, I promise) but it was kind of rainy and gross so I went on the Great Shoe Hunt of 2011 instead.
be jealous cuz these are FABULOUS, except mine are silver so they are cooler
I did get to go to Hotel Matignon which is the house of the Premiere Ministre of France to get some foie gras with my cousin’s husband. Not many people get to go inside the court of it so that was reallllllly cool! Yay for culture!
gettin my culture on with the premiere ministre yeahhhhhhh
keepin' it classy at hotel matignon
Germany was fun too! Hamilton lives about 1h30m from Frankfurt in a tiny lil baby town called Bruchmulbach. It is smaller than Nyons, BUT it had a train-station so it gets more street-cred pointz for that. When I got there Friday I was exhausted since I’d been up since 3am and so I slept all day then we went to the Christmas market in the next town over. The Christmas market there was basically one giant street party. People were drinking profusely in the streets, blasting German techno, and ordering Gleuhwhein (mulled wine/vin chaud) with like Jagermeister in it. I did not partake in drinking jager in my wine (that would not have ended well for anyone involved) but I did watch a lot of drunk German people do that! It was pretty funny, and I got a sweet Christmas 1997 mug.
jagermeister+Jesus carousel=Christmas in Germany
Magi rollin' up!
The next day we went back to Frankfurt to pick up my friend Mika, and then back to Bruchmulbach! Mika and I decided around 10pm that we were not being festive and needed a Christmas tree of some sort to be in the spirit fo realz. At 10pm we set off into the German wilderness on search of our Christmas tree, hoping we wouldn’t meet any bearz in the Black Forest. The good news is we didn’t meet any bearz and we did find a branch that became a tree…we are jolly!
army boot tree stand=classy
tree of dreamz
On Christmas we spent the day preparing a feast and then feasting. Although I did have to defrost our Christmas sausage in the bathtub since Hamilton burned up his sink plug (LOL). We had Christmas sausage (its Germany shutttt it), macaroni and cheese, green bean casserole, stuffing, roasted potatos, Christmas cookies, and pecan deliciousness. It was a baller feast, I think my mom would be proud of how domesticly inclined I have become.
10 points for sausage innovation!
time to feast ya'll!
So on this trip, I tried something new called “covoitruage” which is ridesharing in English (sorry mom and Sarah). It was really cool, for 30 euros I rode with a guy, his girlfriend and another girl from Paris to Valence (2 hours from Nyons). It was great because I practiced my French the entire time and we got to talk about culture and all sorts of things. Although I will say there were times I thought I was going to die because French people just drive WAY faster than Americans (seriously the speed limit is like 80mph) so I spent a lot of the ride with my eyes closed haha.
Anyways I’ll leave you with some cool or wtf pix, happy new years ya’ll!
BARBAPAPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm obsessed with these guys
anyone need a 3 story tall necktie?????? it'd be a nice addition to any front lawn
SUPRISE! its my d*** in a box!
I do have to comment, WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON IN THIS PICTURE… I found it in a store in Montélimar, and I just don’t understand what is supposed to be going on in it. The only thing I can think of is that SNL skit d*** in a box bahahahaha
Is it possible to take a passport photo that actually looks good? I think the whole world can agree that it is quite the impossible task, except for those who have the super power of always being beyond perfectly photogenic (I hate you btw). The best anyone can hope for is something that is halfway decent, right? Unfortunately all three photos in my passport (actual photo and 2 visas) make me look like a deranged serial killer/someone in a psychiatric hospital in a straight jacket. I can’t win.
In my actual photo, I’m 17 and clearly I woke up that morning and said “screw you world, I’m a pissed off teenager! ANGST” because my hair is unwashed, and my expression is basically giving the middle finger to the world… awesome. Also I was like 15 lbs heavier than now so thats awesome… naht.
Here I am in 2007 wearing the classic teenage look of "Angst"
So 2009 rolls around and I’m like sweet, time for redemption with my first visa. My goal was to look awesome, or as awesome as you can for one of these things. However I failed to take a photo that qualified for a visa because I apparently couldn’t read a form (I’m super smart if you didn’t notice…). So, long story short I had to walk from the French consulate 1 mile to a CVS to get new pictures taken, at noon, in 98 degree heat and walk back. Also I had blisters from the new pair of shoes that I was wearing. To say that I was not a happy camper is an understatement. This is the picture that belongs to my first visa…
Deranged
The peace signs are a nice touch I think. Groovy doods. So when I get to CDG and I’m like freaking out about them NOT letting me into the country (why? I’m not sure) the guy at customs looks at my passport photo and snorts. THEN turns to my visa and bursts out laughing. He says in broken english, “Ha. Is this you? So funny!” Thanks dude, you just made me feel awesome… and by awesome I mean like an idiot. I said, “Thanks I know it is bad” and he goes, “No, not bad. Great!” I definitely made his day.
So now its like August of this year and I’m like swearing up and down that I’m going to take a GREAT pic. I go to CVS, with hair/makeup/etc. done and I’m like passport photo hit me with your best shot (fire away…) and I take one that is GREAT as far as passport photos go, I’m pumped, I’m so excited, I’m like the customs people can’t laugh at this, I WIN. So I turn it in with my visa app and I’m pumped, forgetting that they took a picture of me at the consulate. My visa comes a few weeks later in the mail and I immediately flip to the back to see my new visa and BAM I’m hit with this:
I look like I just got arrested. Also kind of like a murderous doll.
Thank you France for taking this picture of me and putting it in my visa. Now, all I can do is wait until I get to customs to update you on the reaction of the officer. Hilarity will ensue I’m sure. For the sake of comparison, I’m including a recent, slightly more photogenic photo…
Imagine me saying “BONJOUR!” in a Julia Child voice as I welcome you to my brand spankin’ new blog where I will attempt (key word being attempt) to chronicle my adventures through the old continent. I’m not leaving for another month (September 19 baby!) but already I can barely contain my excitement. However as I stare at my already overflowing suitcase that is filled with only half of my wardrobe, I realize how daunting a task it will be to move my life over there for 7 months. And by that I mostly mean my clothes since I seem to have packaged up every other aspect of my life.
The funny thing is, is that I know I’m going to want to buy all new things when I arrive. That’s what happened last time I was there, and I know for a fact that I will have some serious French girl clothes envy when I arrive. I can’t help it that they all look so fabulous all the time!! At least I am coming prepared this time with a LOT of scarves (holla!) and a beret that I knitted myself. I kind of feel like my beret looks like a jellyfish from Spongebob, but I think I can live with that.
This time around visiting France I have some things that just NEED to happen. 1. Versailles. 2. Louvre 3. Marche de Noel in Strasbourg 4. Spain 5. Italy 6. Switzerland. There are others, but I’ve been up since 6:30am today (it is now almost midnight) werkin so I can pay for things when I get there, like all these fabulous trips I plan on taking… so I can’t think of the rest of them unfortunately. BAHHH can I just get on a plane already??
Mego In France 