Culture Shock


So lets be real. I live in a very interesting part of VA… verrrrrry interesting. Good ole’ Roanoke. And because my life is just nuts, my parents decided to move to Richmond. So that is happening. Actually how I found out about that was pretty funny. I got off the plane, had been traveling for like 14 hours or something and crying for most of that time, and my mom goes “Hey honey!! I’m so glad to see you! We bought a house in Richmond today!” Awesome mom. Thank you for that heads up. So boom double culture shock.

Now pretty much I’ve just been lamping around my parents house, annoying them when realators and stuff come over because I am such a bum. To be fair I have applied for a LOT of jobs, both English and French, but no one has called me. So until I get a job, I’m going to be laying out by the poolio in my backyard, drinking wine, and occasionally going for a run. Oh and listening to obscene amounts of country music.

I have yet to venture down to Walmart, because I’m pretty sure I can’t handle that. However, I did go to a clA$$ic Roanoke event, First Fridays, where most of the great unwashed of the city come out to drink some burrs and hit on lonely women. Ill be honest, I saw groups of 30 something women trolling for husbands. You could see the desperation in their eyes. Anyways there was a band who was pretty good. They were a Journey cover band and I’ll be honest I like Journey so that was coolio, or nickel as French people say.

we’re with the band ya’ll be jelz

hottiez

you aren’t steve perry!!! you impostor!! but check out those groupies!

coattails of awesomness

So that has been my life. Yay America! Good Lord someone get me a plane ticket back to France…

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Story of my life: It Got Weird


Strangely enough vacation is almost over… WEIRD! It seemed like it would be soooooooo long but really it is halfway over. I spent the last few days in Thionville with Natalie and believe me did things get Weird. With a capitol W. Traveling there was a long and tiresome journey… 12 hours en totale. But I had a long layover in Lyon, the second largest city in France, which I took advantage of and explored with Mika.

Oh hey Lyon! Oh what's that? You have a fake Eiffel Tower? Cool beanz!

There was nothing strange about the journey, except maybe the old lady who was snoring the entire time in the seat across from me. It sounded like I was traveling with a large seal of some sort. She even kind of looked like a seal, if seals had cranberry red hair and crazy outfits on. Anyways upon arrival in Thionville I thought it was super cute and SO much bigger than Nyons. Not that it is exceptionally hard to be bigger than Nyons lol… Anyways Natalie and another assistant that she lives with from Scotland were telling me about a man who works there who they call Monseiur Baguette because he always brings them baguettes. There is only one problem, he is like a “silent penguin” according to Natalie and that is a perfect description. He kind of silently shows up and is kind of creepy about it, gives the bread, and silently fades into the darkness. Literally. Anyways Natalie has just finished telling me this story and I heard a noise in the corridor and turns out its Monsieur Baguette in the other assistant’s room. Granted he had a ton of baguettes but still totally creepy and weird and just reinforced the idea haha.

When I googled "Creepy Bread Man" this came up...

The next day we walked down by the Moselle river and had a good time talking about Guilford and how the F we don’t know what we are going to do with our lives after this program. Well that was more me freaking out and Natalie listening to me rant. I took some pictures of some cows…  and yeah it was pretty cool.

Saturday night is where it gets WEIRD and awesome. If you’ve been thinking Ellvis is dead, please let me inform you of the contrary. Not only is he alive, he is singing at an American diner called “The Fonzie” in Thionville. That’s right people. I just blew your minds didn’t I. Proof:

Elvis ain't dead!

The Fonzie also indulged me in my craving for American food with a bomb burger and a coke and tons of Americana decoration and waiters on roller skates. Also Elvis GAH that is probably my favorite part.

GET IN MY BELLY... dang that burger was gooooood

Next we went out to an Irish pub for the night and it was pretty fun. However, I did get hit on by a 17 year old. YUP. That happened. Apparently the key to my heart is telling me I have a beautiful accent, because that is exactly what this kid did. In France the legal drinking age is 18 but they don’t card sooooooo if you look kind of old you can go to a bar. I definitely forgot about that so turns out I think I’m getting hit on by a suave French dude telling me how great my French is and how beautiful my accent is and turns out he is just a kid. That’s how it got weird. WEIRD. I know it doesn’t sound too weird, but I felt pretty much like a cougar. I’m 22, I don’t think I should be feeling like that haha. The night ended with me arguing with some kid (he was 18) over why I don’t want to teach French gangster-thugs English. Basically he was like Paris is awesome you should work there and my response was, “so they can put me in a bad school with kids that hate me and are gangster-thugs? No thanks” We argued for a long time about this, with my main argument being that teaching gagnster-thugs would in no way be enjoyable. Also France, like any other country, is full of gangster-thugs and if I can avoid them I will gladly do so. The gangster-thugs and blood thirsty pigeons are my two top things to avoid in life… easier said than done in France.

Fat from eating humans on the daily

Speaking of French gangster-thugs, Nyons seems to be full of them lol. They like to cruise through the streets hanging out the window of their best friends ride trying to holler (see what I did there? I’m bringing TLC back). It gets really weird. My favorite part though is when they are gangster-thug daddys and have pimped out strollers. Anyways, in Nyons since I am somewhat of a celeb here, people have started telling me how good I am at running. They pop out of their shops when I walk by and say things like “Hey! Good running! It is good for your health you know! Bon Courage!” It’s only adding to the delusion that is my life right now.

Anyways, back to the rest of my trip. On Sunday we watched the world cup of rugby in an Irish pub where New Zealand beat France. That was pretty fun I’ll say. Most of the pub was drinking beer at 10am but I had to stick with Orangina; the wine from the night before did me in. Monday was also fun; Natalie and I went to Metz, which is a 20 min train ride away and a really big city. It was super pretty and had a huge cathedral and lots of neat shops and things. Yay for being a tourist holla!

Monster Cathedral will eat all other Cathedrals!

Found: Camo fishermen in Metz

Currently I’m sitting in a lovely café writing watching the old men play petanque (like bocce ball but weirder), a woman walk her child on a leash, and the Nyons bike squad  bike by. They all have matching “Nyons, Pays des olives” shirts on (land of olives) and are looking like they want to be in the next Tour de France. They are kind of old and maybe they shouldn’t be wearing spandex but this is France and they get rill srs about their biking.

Me in a French cafe... all I need is a man with a mustache, a striped shirt and a beret and I'll be living the dream

Well I’ve been meaning to do a post on food/wine and perhaps I will get around to doing that in the next few weeks. All I have to say is that there is a reason French women don’t get fat: they don’t deny themselves anything but everything is so freaking healthy! I eat like a king on a poor man’s budget and it is awesome. I also drink wine, eat bread and cheese and yet I’ve lost weight. Sigh…. France: I love you. Even if your post office is full of all the crazies in France.

Well, I’m off to Marseille Friday (hopefully… I seem to have misplaced my tickets whoops!) so hopefully that will be fun!!! Keep it real back in the states ya’ll!

Grand Bis

Meaghan

Probably one of the strangest things you could ever put in your window... Found: Thionville