Crocodiles, Beaches, and…?


So update time! I am now done with work (insert sad face here) so I’ve just been chillin’ like a villain… u kno how I do. Ok that was awkward. Anyways so update! I have been actually having a great few weeks! Last weekend I went to a crocodile farm!!!! If your mind is currently being blown by how awesome a crocodile farm is, your brain is totally right. IT WAS AWESOME!!!!! SO. MANY. CROCS. So freaking awesome! I’m not sure why there is a crocodile farm in the middle of France but whatevs, it kicked a$$.

walking in to haunt your dreamz

just letting you think they are lazy, just asking you to come closer…

american alligator… usa! usa! usa!

Then this week I went to the beach in Toulon. Toulon is a port city and has one of France’s naval bases. I visited it for a day in October and I wanted to go back and get  my bronze on. And you better believe I got my bronze on, or should I say burn on. I am fried but in a good way! Except that I couldn’t wear a bra yesterday because my back hurt too much. The price you pay for beauty. Anyways it was beautiful and the food was wonderful. I ate salmon lasagne which was da bomb diggity. I know it sounds weird but it wasn’t it was awesome. I also saw a submarine, and a LOT of naked old grandmas. A lot. Also I spotted an old man playing volleyball in a turquoise speedo, socks, and sneakers. I wish I had taken a picture.

mediteranean coast!!!

check out that submarine yo!! time for france to get her spy on

gettin my bronze on yo

Well on my last days at school, a lot of my kids wrote me letters/cards/etc. and some of them are adorable/funny. Here are some pictures of them:

this girl drew me with a nicki minaj butt… nice

i’m not sure what is going on here but maybe an american disco party? also “amerique” is spelled wrong… amerque what uppp

titanic…why???

french flag, shark fins (requin is shark in french), and virginie (virginia in french)… maybe this is a modernist interpretation of my trip home?

Anyways I’ll be back stateside in 7 days exactly. WIZZEIRD!!! How am I going to continue this blog in the US? Maybe I’ll get clever up in hurr and start talking about food or something. Not that that is super clever but schwatevz. Anyways

Sea Teeth and the NBA


I’m realizing that my animals unit with the Spandex King has proven to be super eventful. Amusing things just seem to keep happening! Yesterday, I realized that French makes everything cooler sounding. We are talking about sharks and the SK starts talking about a movie called “Les dents de la mer” or “The Teeth of the Sea” which I just figured to be “Jaws” because hello what other shark movie has such notoriete?

Sharktopus excluded

Turns out I was right, it is “Jaws.” But then I realized that “The Teeth of the Sea” sounds way more bad ass than Jaws… Think about it, we all have jaws and we say things like “my jaw hurts” if you chew too much gum or something. That doesn’t really evoke the image of man eating sharks. On the other hand “The Teeth of the Sea” or even “Sea Teeth” is clearly talking about something large and in charge.

check out those pearly whites

If I saw that poster today, I would say “I NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE NOW” because sharks are awesome. I would think, “those are some prettttty big sea teeth right there and that shark is totally going to be eating people” which is probably what everyone in France thought 35 years ago when the movie came out. They were all probably like YUP gotta see that! In English “Jaws” is synonomous with sharks now because of this movie but all I’m saying is that I think the French way is much more creatively descriptive and that English can be kind of boring.

I know we have a lot of expressions in English, however the French have like 8,000 more. I’m convinced there is an expression for everything here. It makes life spicy. I’ve also realized that in English sometimes we just don’t have words for things, or at least I don’t know these words. Here there are like 15 different kinds of hats that one can wear on a daily basis. I call all of them hats because they sit on your head. But one teacher was like “what about bonnets? and chapeaux? and berets? and chapeaux de cowboys? and ones for skiiing? and ones when it is warm but not too warm? and ones to sleep? and…” My response was, “well I do say cowboy hat, and I say beret, but everything else is a hat. Simply a hat.” You would have thought that I insulted her mother or something by the way she was looking at me.

Another interesting experience I had was having a conversation about the NBA with some guys here. They were like “you are SO lucky you live in America and can see NBA players all the time” and I was like well not really I don’t live near any teams. Their response was, so? It’s America and they all live there. I was like look guys I can’t just day-trip up to Boston and see Kevin Garnett grocery shopping it doesn’t work that way. All they got out of that was Kevin Garnett and grocery shopping which was not the point. Le sigh…

Well Spain in 8 DAYS and America in 12 AHHH

Mego