Accidental Insults


So I was working with the Spandex King on a family/description/random unit. I’m confused about what the theme was. But at some point it turned into descriptions. I’m just going to put it out there that I’m really bad at describing people in English. I tend to describe people by “fat, skinny, tall, and not tall” and then usually what they are wearing. I don’t properly utilise the English language. Anyways the SK is the same age as my dad (mid 50s) but I thought he was  like 70 for the longest time until he randomly told me what year he was born, which was kind of a weird conversation. The fact that hes 55ish and I thought he was 70 should tell you something.

So we had just revised the descriptor words (big, small, tall, thin, fat, ugly, beautiful, old, young) and then SK looks at me and goes “describe me.” I was like oh no… Because how do you be polite when you call someone old? So because I’m horrifyingly awkward sometimes, I go “well um you are tall…i guess… um you have blue eyes… um and you are wearing a red sweater and black shoes” He looks at me and goes “that was actually horrible” well gee thanks…

Then one of the students start to describe him and the student goes “you have white hair” to which he FREAKED out. He was like, “WHITE HAIR!!!! I DO NOT HAVE WHITE HAIR!!! Meaghan what color is my hair??” which to be honest, his hair is that weird blonde/gray/white color that happens once you turn 50 and you were blonde back in the day. So what do you say to someone who might be in denial about their age?

The SK is staring at me and I’m just standing there like WHAT THE HELL DO I DO, so because I’m awkward, I stuttered out “um maybe it is kind of sorta whiteish grayish blonde?” Then I realized he didn’t understand my butchering of English “kind of sorta  wihiteish” meant nothing to him because those are words and expressions he has never heard. All he heard was “blonde” and that was all he needed to hear. He goes “see class? I am not old, I am beautiful with blonde hair! Strong too!”

If you say so Spandex King, if you say so.

Mego

Here is a random picture of a grotto in Avignon... just because

Stories You Won’t Believe


Sometimes you hear stories and you are just like “there is no way that is true” but then it turns out that it really is. My dad tells me these things the most I think. None are coming to mind right now though. But occasionally here in France I hear these stories and I think, “is it the fact that I don’t understand French, or is this story just really strange?” Then I think some more and I realize that I understand all the words, that the story is just THAT crazy. Wanna hear one of these stories? I heard one today… Also I realize I’m publishing this on April 1st but this is not a joke ( I swear!)

So Stephanie and I had lunch at Martine’s house with a boring British couple who I have some interesting theories on (that are irrelevant to this story), and Martine’s son who is 28, and of course her husband. Anyways so her son says “yeah I had a really interesting night last night” which Nyons is pretty tame so of course I’m curious at this point. He then continues “well my friend came to visit from Lyon, and he drank all afternoon and lost the keys to his car. Then because he was drunk, he decided to harass some pizza restaurant workers, and then sneak into his old bosses’s garden and cause some mayhem. But obviously they heard him and called the police, and it turns out he had a knife on him so he got taken to jail. We bailed him out and then went to the bar and then this morning he realized that he still doesn’t have his keys. We called everyone we know to see if his keys were around but no one has them. He has to go to Paris tomorrow too… He is coming back next weekend to get his car, but it is in a paying spot so he is going to get a lot of parking tickets…”

This is the kind of person that makes me wonder, how did you survive this long in life? I wasn’t totally sure that this is what actually happened but Stephanie said that no that is really what happened. Another question I have to ask is, where was Martine’s son when this guy was sneaking into gardens and trying to cambriolage sheesh? Cuz her son is realllllly calm and level-headed… alas that is a mystery that will not be solved.

I also tried boudin noir at Martine’s today. I thought I was going to throw up onto the table but that would have been rude. Wikipedia defines boudin noir, as ” a dark-hued blood sausage, containing pork, pig blood, and other ingredients.” Maybe my palate just isn’t taht refined, but I’m seriously gagging as I write this. Have fun with that image!

mmmm sausage…

BSX

Mego

Meaghan=My Gun


So Ron Burgundy really struggles to pronounce my name. I don’t really understand why because there is a French equivalent and it’s not popular but its not uncommon (Megane). I also pronounce my name that way here just to make it easy on people. Anyways the way he says it is something like “Mye-gunn.” So after class the other day one little girl comes up to me and goes “est-ce que ‘my gun’ ca veut dire ‘mon pistolet’?” [does ‘my gun’ mean ‘my gun’] and I was like yeah that is the translation of that. Ron Burgundy lost it and was bent over laughing so hard he couldnt breathe. I was like yo Ron what is the dealio?? He goes “did you  not realize that what she was asking was if your name means mon pistolet” [my gun in French] I was like seriously Ron what are you smoking? And then I realized that the way he pronounces my name kind of sounds like “My gun.” So I confused a child, a lot. Awesome. Moral of the story is, don’t name your kids weird things. No not really, the moral of the story is I need to listen to the chitlins better so I don’t unintentionally tell them lies.

In other news, life has been good recently! It is full spring here and I am happily wandering around in summer sun dresses (with sweaters for modesty), enjoying the soleil and lovely temperatures. Last weekend I spent the day in Avignon exploring and seeing the sights. I did not sing on the Pont d’Avignon unfortunately because it cost like 6 euros entrance which seems a little extreme for a bridge that is only half way across a river… Anyways I had a wonderful wonderful time! Avignon was great. I even got a little sun burned on my shoulders and saw an old fat man in cut off jean shorts soooo… that was the cherry on top.

palais des papes, what up old pope palace

finally i'm not wearing my leather jacket! view from the palais des papes

pont d'avignon, and palais des papes... view from the other side of the river

grotto! wheres hef?

JORTS!!!!! you'd think you were in America seeing this...

Also I FINALLY got all my OFII dramz sorted out. I finally went and got the stamp for my passport. It seems silly though because I’m leaving in 6 weeks (triste!!!) even though I don’t want to. I’m finally starting to feel settled in Nyons, to have friends, to feel like I know what life is here and to have to leave so soon… It breaks my heart it really does. But i’ll find out this month if I got re-accepted to the Assistant Program which I’m hoping I did. Not necessarily here in Nyons, but in France in general. I’d be happy.

Today, I bien profité (enjoyed) the gorgeous day here in Nyons by reading in the park. I read for an hour and then promptly fell asleep on the bench but, it is the thought/effort that counts right?

Also if anyone can help me explain what “swag” is, that would be awesome. I can’t seem to figure out how to explain what it is….

Wonderful weekend wishes to everyone!

Mego

I’m Famous


My students wrote an article about me plus pictures of me in action, changing lives and teaching english like a boss

Here is the link click it!!!! It is in French but here is what it says in English:

“Meaghan is our new English assistant, here is a little bit about her: She is from Virgina which the capitol is Richmond and is south of Washingon. In her region it is as cold as Nyons. She is 22 years old. For sports she plays lacrosse (mostly played in the US) and running. She was born in Alexandria next to Washington because her parents lived there at the time. She was supposed to go to Grenoble but came to Nyons because she likes traveling and it is easier in France. She can’t  livve in France because she needs a work visa. This is not her first time in our country. She lived in Brittany for four months in 2009. Meaghan does not like people who smoke, especially in the streets. She doesn’t know what she will do later. Her favorite animal is the cat. Her weakness is seafood. Her work contract will soon be finished and she leaves at the end of April, how sad!

This is pretty far off of what I told these kids but hey they are like 10 so pretttty good work dudes!

This cracks me up lololololololol

 

Mego

Ron Burgundy Strikes Again


So I havn’t updated any RB stories recently. All has been quiet on that front for the past few weeks, until today that is. Unfortunately this isn’t a funny story. He made me mad. Like really mad.

We are doing a food unit for his class and he was like “lets do frites” frites being french fries. I go yeah cool ok french fries and he looks at me and goes “no chips” and I go “no chips are the same in America as they are here” and he goes “yes but in England frites are chips” and I go “yes I know but I’m not from England.”

He stops, looks me right in the eye and goes “are they paying you to come here and be American? no they are paying you to come here and be British so thats what you better teach in my class.” UM EXCUSE ME… I’m sorry but I was really offended by this. I’ve never been to freaking England much less learned British English. I have a president not a queen and I’m never going to speak British English. In fact it generally sounds wrong to me, but that is just my opinion.

What do you say to someone that has just insulted your nationality? I think he knew he pissed me off. I fumed the rest of the class but didn’t say anything. What could I say? I’m just a transient worker, hes been there for like 20 years. So, moral of the story is: if you are American, pretend to be British. JK that’s stupid. If you are whatever you are, be that proudly and don’t let anyone bring you down!

Mego

What I learned to say in French today…


POST-EDIT: I was informed by a real Francophone  that the following French phrase I will discuss does not actually mean what I thought it did. Clearly my potential future as a translator is questionable. However he did clairify that it was rude and fairly terrible. Anyways the story revolves around what I thought was being said… enjoy!

It’s not very nice. It, like most interactions I have with my teachers started off quite innocently and then it got weird. With the Spandex King, we are working on an animal unit and making up sentences for the animals. Example: bears like honey. Innocent right? We get to a hippopotamus and he wants the kids to say “Hippos have big mouths” which is also very innocent. He then looks at me and goes, “do you know what we would say in French?” and I was like “umm bouche?” [French word for mouth] and he was like “Ha ha  ha ha no no no, we would say ‘gueule'” which made all the children snicker. Because I’m a crazy foreigner I was like um what is the joke I don’t get it? One child then screams out “Ferme ta gueule!” which means more or less, “shut the fudge up” except replace the dge with ck.

"only I didn't say fudge..."

What was the response of the Spandex King? He goes “yes, it is a very bad word if you say it like that. But if you say it about an animal then it is ok.” I’m sorry, a child just dropped an F BOMB in class how do you NOT respond to that? When I was ten we were punished for saying “oh my God” (thanks catholic school!) by having to write the Ten Commandments over and over… dropping an F bomb would have meant  suspension. Sometimes France just amazes me. Anyways, I’m now adding this to my repetoire of French insults of which I’ll never use but now know. I’m now at 2. Yay for language progression? Hmmm debateable.

In other news, IT SNOWED TODAY!!!!!!

our lil baby mtns all covered in snow

snow on the fountain that doesn't work in the center of town

It is supposed to keep snowing for the next few days so hopefully if that happens I will take some betta pics. I snapped these on my way to work this afternoon.

Also on Friday night I hung out with my real French friend! YAY!!! French friends are hard to find, they are elusive like a unicorn. But I think its official, I have my first real French friend! Her name is either Leslie or Eleslie, I don’t know. I know, I look like a terrible person BUT when she gave me her number she said to me, “my name is Eleslie with an E at the begining everyone spells it wrong.” Then I typed it into my phone, showed her and was like “this ok?” and her response was “perfect!” BUT she texted Stephanie the other day and spelled it “Leslie.” I’M CONFUSED. Eitherway, she is still an official French friend because she has since texted me wanting to hang out! Progress. I’m just going to avoid ever saying her name and say things like “hey girl!” It’ll make it easier.

Thats bout it round here… Be back Stateside soon! But first, bring on Spain… Ay Caramba!

Mego