Houston, we have a problem!

So as many of you know, my life is generally one disaster after another, and I’m really unsure of how I manage to survive on a daily basis. When I say disaster, I mean like relative to my life, like how I managed to get all my credit cards cancelled my very first day in France…that was pretttttty awesome. Well I have a few addictions that are pretty serious, one being coffee, and another being my computer which provides me with pretty much all my entertainment (music, skype, american tv, the news, salacious celebrity gossip…) so not having it is like a death sentence. Sure I do spend a lot of time reading and knitting and cooking and coloring, but I can’t be a domestic goddess ALL the time. Even Betty Crocker needs her Perez Hilton fix. So in my wonderful Christmas travels I did so awesome at not losing ANYTHING. I managed to keep my gros-sacs in control and not lose a single item. I was so proud of myself because generally I lose everything (finding my keys in my 1 room apartment is generally a challenge). Flash forward to Tuesday night when I realize I left my computer charger in Paris and I only had 5% battery left. OH SHEESH YA’LL, twas not a dream. What’s a MAC girl to do in a PC world in France? Hop on the first  bus up to Montelimar (closest MAC retailer) and buy a new charger… The good news is, my new one isn’t held together by masking tape… YAY for progress!

Anyways, Holidaze update timez!! Paris was fun! The city is definitely growing on me but I’m still unsure if it is a city I could ever live in. I did a fair amount of shopping while there, which was great because now I have some fabulous pretty new things! I did go on a freaking wild goose chase all over the city after this one pair of shoes. Granted these shoes are totally bad ass and I’m so obsessed with them and I wish I could wear them every day but unfortunately sparkly 5in high heels are not acceptable every day wear except for if you are Lady Gaga which I am unfortunately not haha. Anyways I saw them in Strasbourg and I was like “dang those shoes are hot. I need them for New Years. Eh, I’ll get them in Paris I don’t need be more of a bag lady than I already am.” Well after going to SIX stores in Paris I finally found them. Apparently every girl in France wants to wear these same shoes in size 7. I mean who can blame them? They are so awesome!!!! That was probably the most exciting thing I did there haha. I wanted to spend a day in the cemetery Pere Lachaise (creepy! I know but really its cool, I promise) but it was kind of rainy and gross so I went on the Great Shoe Hunt of 2011 instead.

be jealous cuz these are FABULOUS, except mine are silver so they are cooler

I did get to go to Hotel Matignon which is the house of the Premiere Ministre of France to get some foie gras with my cousin’s husband. Not many people get to go inside the court of it so that was reallllllly cool! Yay for culture!

gettin my culture on with the premiere ministre yeahhhhhhh

keepin' it classy at hotel matignon

Germany was fun too! Hamilton lives about 1h30m from Frankfurt in a tiny lil baby town called Bruchmulbach. It is smaller than Nyons, BUT it had a train-station so it gets more street-cred pointz for that. When I got there Friday I was exhausted since I’d been up since 3am and so I slept all day then we went to the Christmas market in the next town over. The Christmas market there was basically one giant street party. People were drinking profusely in the streets, blasting German techno, and ordering Gleuhwhein (mulled wine/vin chaud) with like Jagermeister in it. I did not partake in drinking jager in my wine (that would not have ended well for anyone involved) but I did watch a lot of drunk German people do that! It was pretty funny, and I got a sweet Christmas 1997 mug.

jagermeister+Jesus carousel=Christmas in Germany

Magi rollin' up!

The next day we went back to Frankfurt to pick up my friend Mika, and then back to Bruchmulbach! Mika and I decided around 10pm that we were not being festive and needed a Christmas tree of some sort to be in the spirit fo realz. At 10pm we set off into the German wilderness on search of our Christmas tree, hoping we wouldn’t meet any bearz in the Black Forest. The good news is we didn’t meet any bearz and we did find a branch that became a tree…we are jolly!

army boot tree stand=classy

tree of dreamz

On Christmas we spent the day preparing a feast and then feasting. Although I did have to defrost our Christmas sausage in the bathtub since Hamilton burned up his sink plug (LOL). We had Christmas sausage (its Germany shutttt it), macaroni and cheese, green bean casserole, stuffing, roasted potatos, Christmas cookies, and pecan deliciousness. It was a baller feast, I think my mom would be proud of how domesticly inclined I have become.

10 points for sausage innovation!

time to feast ya'll!

So on this trip, I tried something new called “covoitruage” which is ridesharing in English (sorry mom and Sarah). It was really cool, for 30 euros I rode with a guy, his girlfriend and another girl from Paris to Valence (2 hours from Nyons). It was great because I practiced my French the entire time and we got to talk about culture and all sorts of things. Although I will say there were times I thought I was going to die because French people just drive WAY faster than Americans (seriously the speed limit is like 80mph) so I spent a lot of the ride with my eyes closed haha.

Anyways I’ll leave you with some cool or wtf pix, happy new years ya’ll!

BARBAPAPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm obsessed with these guys

anyone need a 3 story tall necktie?????? it'd be a nice addition to any front lawn

SUPRISE! its my d*** in a box!

I do have to comment, WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON IN THIS PICTURE… I found it in a store in Montélimar, and I just don’t understand what is supposed to be going on in it. The only thing I can think of is that SNL skit d*** in a box bahahahaha


Silly Santas and Scary Elves: Adventures in Strasbourg

So as you know, I just spent the weekend in the land of Christmas OD: Strasbourg, France. It was the stuff of dReAmZ fo realz ya’ll! If you love Christmas and want to have an overdose on Christmas cheer, then you should probably try to make it a life goal to visit Strasbourg at some point in your life. I want to go back, like now. However I have so many other things to accomplish this winter break 🙂

There are like 800,000,00,000 reasons why Strasbourg was B.A. but I’m just going to list my favorite reasons:

*Crazy Santas… everywhere you looked there were Santas and they all looked ridiculous, usually drunk, and enormously obese. Santas don’t look like this back home and I loved it! I took pictures of as many drunk/crazy Santas as possible

the fat b... "get in my belly" santa... also potentially drunk as well

"why yes i'll take another BOWL of vin chaud!" (drunk) santa

the "i'm going to break into your house and steal all your sheesh" santa

*Evil Elves… apparently evil Elves is like a “thing” in a European Christmas. The Children’s Market had an “evil elf” that would “trick you” if you lost sight of him. Ummm whatever happened to Rudolph? This is like the Miser Brothers (if you don’t know what that is well go youtube it. Its freaking weird but I loved it as a kid) on acid and like scarier.

happy holidays just doesn't have the same ring if an evil elf (in sunglasses) and a bat (?) aren't included

just what you want on your christmas tree, spreading holiday cheer

*Drinking in public… IT IS ENCOURAGED TO DRINK WINE IN THE STREETS. YUP you read that right! Everywhere you turn there is a stand selling “Vin Chaud” or Mulled Wine and it’s freaking awesome. Not only is it acceptable to drink wine in the streets its encouraged… Drink up people! It’s good for the economy!

helping the economy thrive by drinking wine in the streets

*Crazy hats… Not only is it encouraged for people to drink wine in the streets, it is also encouraged that they wear crazy hats while doing it. I’m not talking children, or parents with kids I’m talking full grown adults with no reason at all to be wearing crazy hats wearing crazy hats: polar bears, wolves, crazy Santa hats, birds, and a bunch of other weird things. It’s like a “thing” and I LOVED it!!!


santa strip tease?

*The Lights… My pictures do not do the lights of this city justice. They were AMAZING! Even better was the cute town of Colmar that I visited. Both were spectacular and awesome and well words don’t really do it justice, and neither did my cheap (but handy) little camera.

check out this badboy rockefeller center!

*The food… sausage? Yes preaze! Sauerkraut? Yes preaze! Bread? Yes preaze! Beer? Yes preaze! Crepes? Yes preaze! Pretzels? Yes preaze! Vin Chaud? YES PREAZE… Did I gain an extra 10lbs on this trip? Probably. Was it worth it? I’m not sure yet but that food was DEELISH.

I couchsurfed here with a cool dude who took a lot of time to show me the city and the food and culture. He took me to the town of Colmar to see their lights one night and it was amazing. It was much smaller, quainter and more lovely. It’s like how I went to Toulon when I visited Marseille; the big cities were grand and spectacular but I’m a sucker for a small, quaint, lovely little place.

I spent Saturday with an assistant friend going to all the different markets throughout town (there are like 10, not exaggerating), and then on Sunday I did the same thing just by myself. Also it snowed Sunday afternoon! Talk about Christmas wonderland!!! The only thing that could have made it better would have been if all of a sudden people broke out into song and a choreographed dance in the street and then I met my true love or something like that. You know, typical movie business. Also this all would have happened while it was snowing and I had perfect hair.

Also, while trying to take a picture with Pere Noel (Father Christmas for all you non-frenchies out there), I was PHOTOBOMBED by a child. Look at the lower right hand corner of this picture… and then check out the zoom action.

just tryna get some last minute face time with santa!


Now, I am on my way to Paris (well when this is published I will have already arrived… but still) for a few days and then it is off to THE GERM aka Germany. I’d also like to point out my absolute inability to pack in a reasonable manner. The guy sitting next to me on the train is probably thinking “what the hell is wrong with this girl? She has like 17 HUGE bags” well not 17 but 2 gros sacs as I like to call them. Sighhh… sometimes I wonder how I make it through life unscathed. (post script: he gave me a super weird look when I attempted to arrange my things to get off the train, which took some serious effort)

2 gros sacs, plein de trucs (2 big bags full of random things)

Anyways, sending Christmas cheer and winter wonderland magic across the Atlantic!