I can’t think of a PC title

So because I’m being a lazy crazy girl (do you like that? I just came up with it boom!) I havn’t uploaded any of my pictures from Switzerland and Italy so I’ll try to get around to those posts (too much fun for 1!) Friday or this weekend. Maybe.

So today at school, in the Spandex King’s class we were talking about the US geography and all the neat things we have in there (Mt. Rushmore bitches!) and when we were talking about Washington DC the Spandex King goes (in French), ” I heard there were a lot of blacks there” I guess because I’m socially awkward, I said ” black what? Cars?” To which he laughed and goes “HA no. People. Anyways, the next city we will look at is Miami, which is filled with Cubans.”

I’m never going to work with such unintentionally funny people ever again.

Hopefully I’ll stop having mental breakdowns about my life this week and update on my vacations which were super! Also if you have a chance and want to watch a really weird French movie, watch “Perfume: the Story of a Murderer” I watched it last night with my boyfriend and it was super weird, the ending especially. ::Shiver:: but it was French so you know it was good. Also Snape is in it sooo… get on it!



Accidental Insults

So I was working with the Spandex King on a family/description/random unit. I’m confused about what the theme was. But at some point it turned into descriptions. I’m just going to put it out there that I’m really bad at describing people in English. I tend to describe people by “fat, skinny, tall, and not tall” and then usually what they are wearing. I don’t properly utilise the English language. Anyways the SK is the same age as my dad (mid 50s) but I thought he was  like 70 for the longest time until he randomly told me what year he was born, which was kind of a weird conversation. The fact that hes 55ish and I thought he was 70 should tell you something.

So we had just revised the descriptor words (big, small, tall, thin, fat, ugly, beautiful, old, young) and then SK looks at me and goes “describe me.” I was like oh no… Because how do you be polite when you call someone old? So because I’m horrifyingly awkward sometimes, I go “well um you are tall…i guess… um you have blue eyes… um and you are wearing a red sweater and black shoes” He looks at me and goes “that was actually horrible” well gee thanks…

Then one of the students start to describe him and the student goes “you have white hair” to which he FREAKED out. He was like, “WHITE HAIR!!!! I DO NOT HAVE WHITE HAIR!!! Meaghan what color is my hair??” which to be honest, his hair is that weird blonde/gray/white color that happens once you turn 50 and you were blonde back in the day. So what do you say to someone who might be in denial about their age?

The SK is staring at me and I’m just standing there like WHAT THE HELL DO I DO, so because I’m awkward, I stuttered out “um maybe it is kind of sorta whiteish grayish blonde?” Then I realized he didn’t understand my butchering of English “kind of sorta  wihiteish” meant nothing to him because those are words and expressions he has never heard. All he heard was “blonde” and that was all he needed to hear. He goes “see class? I am not old, I am beautiful with blonde hair! Strong too!”

If you say so Spandex King, if you say so.


Here is a random picture of a grotto in Avignon... just because

It’s War

I’m in a full fledged, balls to the wall, all out war against the formidable enemy of one, maybe two ant colonies. I don’t care what it takes, those suckers are going down. I dont understand how people have ant farms in their houses. That is just asking for trouble. Anyways, the little bastards have taken over my entryway/door and yarn cupboard, and my bathroom. I bought those ant killer houses, which are helping but it is time to get serious. This girl sprayed some sheesh up in here yesterday which killed some of them but it is not enough. Also even though she sprayed the entryway and shower/bathroom area only, she looks at me and goes ” so maybe you should be more careful about food and then you wouldn’t have this problem” I looked her right in the face adn said “yes because I really enjoy eating in my shower” like if the ants were in my food cupboards, table, or around food at all… yeah i’d agree. But my yarn cupboard? My shower??? Explain that one lady.

I was explaining the ant problem to the Spandex King and he thought it was amusing. Then he goes, “you want to know what i do? I buy a ton of arsenic and just put it all over the outside of my house, windows, doors, pretty much anywhere you can think I put it there. Though I don’t know if you could buy arsenic… you’d probably have to go to a lot of shops” um EXCUSE ME. He literally said he just puts ARSENIC all over his house…  how is he alive? Another teacher who was sitting there for this exchange was like “I can’t believe you do that” and he was like “well why don’t YOU do it?” and she looks at him like sh is about to slap him and goes “umm because I have children thats why. Im not trying to poison them” He then looks at me and goes, ” well Meaghan you don’t have kids so you should definitely put arsenic all over.” Um thanks for the advice but I think I’ll just buy some Raid…

Also these ants are going down because I stabbed myself in the thumb with a fork trying to open one of those damn ant killing houses. It hurts like a, well you know. I didn’t know a fork could do so much damage. At 7am, that is not what I want to be happening… because thats when I did it. Awesome.

Today in other news, I babysat for Cesar and Paloma. At one point, Paloma looks at me and goes, “you speak funny French” I was like hahaha oh you are so silly! We listened to music and danced almost all morning. It was super fun!

Thats all hizzere!


Supermodel Documentary Hour

HOLA!!! Notice, I’m starting this off in Spanish instead of French! I suppose I should really be doing it in Catalan, but I haven’t quite gotten around to looking that up. Anyways, the adventure has commenced! I am currently on the TGV on my way to Paris so that I can leave tomorrow!!!!

i'm in the right seat ya'll check that out!

I’m very proud because I am in the correct car and seat so WIN! However as usual, I have way too much stuff with me and I’m annoying people all around with my gros sacs. I have a giant suitcase full of goodies and surprises for loved ones in the US, plus my backpack for Barcelona, and then another sac that has breakable items/laptop/books that I’ve already read in it. I’m getting a seriously awesome workout lugging these bad boys around… guns of steel baby guns of steel!

Well to recount, I’ve had a very shall we say… interesting week. Tuesday was a pretty good day because I got to eat galettes and crepes at Odile’s house. Odile is the lady who took us up in the hills picking grapes and stuff earlier this year. I love galettes and crepes and these were wonderfully homemade and so YUM! Plus we spoke in French the whole time and Odile was like “gurl yo French is balla!” except not like that at all, but anyways that’s basically what was said. However on Tuesday sheesh got weird at school because I told the Principal that I would not be there Thursday because of my medical visit. Because Ron Burgundy is who he is, he was like “Meaghan why aren’t you going to be in school on Thursday?” Before I could respond he started throwing out options, like “its your boyfriend isn’t it?” and I was like no not at all. Then clearly since it wasn’t my boyfriend, the next logical conclusion he drew was that I was a lesbian. He goes “oh well if it’s not your boyfriend then it must be your girlfriend… Ah I’ve found your secret!!” And started winking at me. I was like no absolutely not that is not my life haha. He was like “don’t lie, you Americans are so funny!” I was just like you are a nut Ron Burgundy, you are a nut.

I also found out that the Spandex King is as old as my dad, which was weird. He definitely looks like he is 65-70 range and my dad is not anywhere near that. He was talking to me about the movie, “the Incredible Shrinking Man” which came out in 1957 and I was like “oh I’ve never seen it, it came out the year my dad was born so…” and he goes “oh your dad was born then? Me too!” It was weird like so many other things.

Also I was proprosed to by a student, again. This is now the second proposal I’ve received from 5th graders. Sw33t Lyfe.

But really the biggest news all week is about my medical visit. As you know, I had two canceled and then got myself locked inside an apartment all day for the third one, so my one yesterday was my fourth. Thankfully it was not canceled, I made it there on time and everything seemed to be going well. The doctor was really nice and telling me how he thinks its silly Americans have to do it because if you can afford to come to France, you can afford health care, meaning we aren’t bringing infectious diseases into the country, which is a pretty valid argument. When he looked at my X-rays he said, “In all my life, I’ve never seen an American with tuberculosis” and I was like I mean is it really that common anymore? His response, “yes it is I see it all the time and I deny people their visas because of it.” Definitely realized how “first world” this conversation was. Anyways so that was all good, I went in for my interview with the lady who would give me my Stamp-thing that tells customs that “this person is allowed to enter France, their visa is valid” or something like that. I realized something was wrong when she started throwing her hands up in the air pacing going “I know I saw it I know I know” which when I asked what was going on, she replied “ I can’t find your stamp” To say that I was freaked out is an understatement. So the conclusion is, someone lost it. Somehow my folder had a photocopy of it, but not the actual thing… great job OFII of Lyon, thank you so much for doing your job and keeping everything together. So now I have a handwritten letter on the photo-copy saying I can enter but…. I’m SCARED!!!!

This is just a pretty great example of beauracracy here. I love France very much and I love every minute here even the bad ones, but sometimes I just want to strangle someone and say THIS WOULDN’T HAPPEN BACK HOME!!!!!! When the OFII guy was trying to figure out who exactly lost it, every single person blamed the post. He was like no, the post did not open an envelope take out that sticker and throw it in the trash, it was lost before it was sent but no one would claim responsibility. He looked at me and says, “I work with a bunch of idiots.” I laughed it was funny.

So now I’m in limbo visa status…LE SIGH…

Last night I went out with my friend Adrian and Stephanie to this one café/bar in Nyons called Palmiers. It is a pretty nice place, I get coffee there a lot (it tastes the best) and the server guy is really nice. Last night while we were there having drinks, I made like 2 jokes in French and the server guy laughed. I was so proud of myself, joking in a foreign language… PROGRESS! He also told me that I spoke well and I didn’t fake-speak French which confused me, how does one exactly “fake speak” French?

This is how you fake speak French…

Well I will try to do a Barcelona (Ay Caramba!) update when I get back to Paris before coming to the states but we will see what happens!

Ill leave you with my TGV photoshoot (the lady next to me definitely thinks I’m weird) enjoy homeiz!


supermodel documentary hour!

Sea Teeth and the NBA

I’m realizing that my animals unit with the Spandex King has proven to be super eventful. Amusing things just seem to keep happening! Yesterday, I realized that French makes everything cooler sounding. We are talking about sharks and the SK starts talking about a movie called “Les dents de la mer” or “The Teeth of the Sea” which I just figured to be “Jaws” because hello what other shark movie has such notoriete?

Sharktopus excluded

Turns out I was right, it is “Jaws.” But then I realized that “The Teeth of the Sea” sounds way more bad ass than Jaws… Think about it, we all have jaws and we say things like “my jaw hurts” if you chew too much gum or something. That doesn’t really evoke the image of man eating sharks. On the other hand “The Teeth of the Sea” or even “Sea Teeth” is clearly talking about something large and in charge.

check out those pearly whites

If I saw that poster today, I would say “I NEED TO SEE THIS MOVIE NOW” because sharks are awesome. I would think, “those are some prettttty big sea teeth right there and that shark is totally going to be eating people” which is probably what everyone in France thought 35 years ago when the movie came out. They were all probably like YUP gotta see that! In English “Jaws” is synonomous with sharks now because of this movie but all I’m saying is that I think the French way is much more creatively descriptive and that English can be kind of boring.

I know we have a lot of expressions in English, however the French have like 8,000 more. I’m convinced there is an expression for everything here. It makes life spicy. I’ve also realized that in English sometimes we just don’t have words for things, or at least I don’t know these words. Here there are like 15 different kinds of hats that one can wear on a daily basis. I call all of them hats because they sit on your head. But one teacher was like “what about bonnets? and chapeaux? and berets? and chapeaux de cowboys? and ones for skiiing? and ones when it is warm but not too warm? and ones to sleep? and…” My response was, “well I do say cowboy hat, and I say beret, but everything else is a hat. Simply a hat.” You would have thought that I insulted her mother or something by the way she was looking at me.

Another interesting experience I had was having a conversation about the NBA with some guys here. They were like “you are SO lucky you live in America and can see NBA players all the time” and I was like well not really I don’t live near any teams. Their response was, so? It’s America and they all live there. I was like look guys I can’t just day-trip up to Boston and see Kevin Garnett grocery shopping it doesn’t work that way. All they got out of that was Kevin Garnett and grocery shopping which was not the point. Le sigh…

Well Spain in 8 DAYS and America in 12 AHHH