Houston, we have a problem!

So as many of you know, my life is generally one disaster after another, and I’m really unsure of how I manage to survive on a daily basis. When I say disaster, I mean like relative to my life, like how I managed to get all my credit cards cancelled my very first day in France…that was pretttttty awesome. Well I have a few addictions that are pretty serious, one being coffee, and another being my computer which provides me with pretty much all my entertainment (music, skype, american tv, the news, salacious celebrity gossip…) so not having it is like a death sentence. Sure I do spend a lot of time reading and knitting and cooking and coloring, but I can’t be a domestic goddess ALL the time. Even Betty Crocker needs her Perez Hilton fix. So in my wonderful Christmas travels I did so awesome at not losing ANYTHING. I managed to keep my gros-sacs in control and not lose a single item. I was so proud of myself because generally I lose everything (finding my keys in my 1 room apartment is generally a challenge). Flash forward to Tuesday night when I realize I left my computer charger in Paris and I only had 5% battery left. OH SHEESH YA’LL, twas not a dream. What’s a MAC girl to do in a PC world in France? Hop on the first  bus up to Montelimar (closest MAC retailer) and buy a new charger… The good news is, my new one isn’t held together by masking tape… YAY for progress!

Anyways, Holidaze update timez!! Paris was fun! The city is definitely growing on me but I’m still unsure if it is a city I could ever live in. I did a fair amount of shopping while there, which was great because now I have some fabulous pretty new things! I did go on a freaking wild goose chase all over the city after this one pair of shoes. Granted these shoes are totally bad ass and I’m so obsessed with them and I wish I could wear them every day but unfortunately sparkly 5in high heels are not acceptable every day wear except for if you are Lady Gaga which I am unfortunately not haha. Anyways I saw them in Strasbourg and I was like “dang those shoes are hot. I need them for New Years. Eh, I’ll get them in Paris I don’t need be more of a bag lady than I already am.” Well after going to SIX stores in Paris I finally found them. Apparently every girl in France wants to wear these same shoes in size 7. I mean who can blame them? They are so awesome!!!! That was probably the most exciting thing I did there haha. I wanted to spend a day in the cemetery Pere Lachaise (creepy! I know but really its cool, I promise) but it was kind of rainy and gross so I went on the Great Shoe Hunt of 2011 instead.

be jealous cuz these are FABULOUS, except mine are silver so they are cooler

I did get to go to Hotel Matignon which is the house of the Premiere Ministre of France to get some foie gras with my cousin’s husband. Not many people get to go inside the court of it so that was reallllllly cool! Yay for culture!

gettin my culture on with the premiere ministre yeahhhhhhh

keepin' it classy at hotel matignon

Germany was fun too! Hamilton lives about 1h30m from Frankfurt in a tiny lil baby town called Bruchmulbach. It is smaller than Nyons, BUT it had a train-station so it gets more street-cred pointz for that. When I got there Friday I was exhausted since I’d been up since 3am and so I slept all day then we went to the Christmas market in the next town over. The Christmas market there was basically one giant street party. People were drinking profusely in the streets, blasting German techno, and ordering Gleuhwhein (mulled wine/vin chaud) with like Jagermeister in it. I did not partake in drinking jager in my wine (that would not have ended well for anyone involved) but I did watch a lot of drunk German people do that! It was pretty funny, and I got a sweet Christmas 1997 mug.

jagermeister+Jesus carousel=Christmas in Germany

Magi rollin' up!

The next day we went back to Frankfurt to pick up my friend Mika, and then back to Bruchmulbach! Mika and I decided around 10pm that we were not being festive and needed a Christmas tree of some sort to be in the spirit fo realz. At 10pm we set off into the German wilderness on search of our Christmas tree, hoping we wouldn’t meet any bearz in the Black Forest. The good news is we didn’t meet any bearz and we did find a branch that became a tree…we are jolly!

army boot tree stand=classy

tree of dreamz

On Christmas we spent the day preparing a feast and then feasting. Although I did have to defrost our Christmas sausage in the bathtub since Hamilton burned up his sink plug (LOL). We had Christmas sausage (its Germany shutttt it), macaroni and cheese, green bean casserole, stuffing, roasted potatos, Christmas cookies, and pecan deliciousness. It was a baller feast, I think my mom would be proud of how domesticly inclined I have become.

10 points for sausage innovation!

time to feast ya'll!

So on this trip, I tried something new called “covoitruage” which is ridesharing in English (sorry mom and Sarah). It was really cool, for 30 euros I rode with a guy, his girlfriend and another girl from Paris to Valence (2 hours from Nyons). It was great because I practiced my French the entire time and we got to talk about culture and all sorts of things. Although I will say there were times I thought I was going to die because French people just drive WAY faster than Americans (seriously the speed limit is like 80mph) so I spent a lot of the ride with my eyes closed haha.

Anyways I’ll leave you with some cool or wtf pix, happy new years ya’ll!

BARBAPAPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm obsessed with these guys

anyone need a 3 story tall necktie?????? it'd be a nice addition to any front lawn

SUPRISE! its my d*** in a box!

I do have to comment, WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON IN THIS PICTURE… I found it in a store in Montélimar, and I just don’t understand what is supposed to be going on in it. The only thing I can think of is that SNL skit d*** in a box bahahahaha


Halloween is over… you know what that means!

Thats right people, as of November 1st it is officially acceptable (according to me and anyone else obsessed with the holiday season) to start listening to Christmas music! My beliefs have been officially confirmed by the fact that Kinder has officially released their Christmas products for sale in the grocery stores.

Santa has never looked so good

For those not in the know, Kinder is a chocolate company in Europe that is da bomb. All their chocolate is amazing, and I don’t even like chocolate. That good.  Also another sign from the heavens that it is completely socially acceptable to listen to holiday music is that not only did Justin Bieber release an album on Nov. 1, but Michael Buble did too. Call me crazy or weird or schwatevz, I don’t care because I’ve been listening to both on repeat. And it is awesome.

Anyways break is over starting tomorrow. I’m pretty happy about that since I need some direction in my life. However, I don’t work on Fridays so I just have to work for 3 hours tomorrow afternoon and then I am free. Did I ever mention that my job is awesome? WOOP WOOP.

The end of my break was supa fun. I went to Marseille for a few days with Stephanie and Mika. Everyone in town kept telling us that we were for SURE going to get mugged/robbed/murdered while in Marseille because I guess its kind of dangerous. But then again, pretty much any other city in the world is more dangerous than Nyons haha except for maybe Mayberry. Anyways, since I’m a little bit of a crazy person, I felt the need to knit myself a money belt for my credit card and ca$h money.

Don't even think about tryna steal my moniez! I have these bad boiz

Don’t pretend like you don’t wish you had a sweet money belt that was custom made by me! Actually if anyone wants one I’ll knit you one for 5 euros/dollars. Ok enough with the shameless self promotion… It worked out pretty awesome aside from the fact that it made me look like I was pregnant in most of my pictures. Case in point, me with the Barbapapa section I found in a store:

Is that a Barbapapa under my shirt or just an awesome money belt?????

So needless to say I looked a little funky in all my pictures because of my super nifty money belt. However I don’t know anyone who has made themselves a money belt before so I still think its awesome. Zing.

Marseille itself was really cool. I really liked it. It was very beautiful and had some really awesome restaurants. We met some other assistants staying at the hostel we were at so it was fun to hang out with them. All in all I think it was a good trip!

I'm on a boat and its going fast and I got a nautical themed pashmina afghan

At any minute "Eye of the Tiger" is going to start playing...

I had my toez in the water, but I did not have my a$$ in the sand as Zac Brown band would say haha

Also in Marseille I’d like to point out that I found something so elusive and rare in France that I had to make it a Kodak moment. Can you guess what it is? I’ll give you a hint, it is rarer than a unicorn…


If you guessed an old man with a mullet you are my new favorite person! Definitely one of my most favorite pictures from France ever. Thank you French Mullet-Man for absolutely making my day everytime I look at this!!

Well thats about it round these parts… I’ll do a food blog this weekend 🙂