Culture Shock


So lets be real. I live in a very interesting part of VA… verrrrrry interesting. Good ole’ Roanoke. And because my life is just nuts, my parents decided to move to Richmond. So that is happening. Actually how I found out about that was pretty funny. I got off the plane, had been traveling for like 14 hours or something and crying for most of that time, and my mom goes “Hey honey!! I’m so glad to see you! We bought a house in Richmond today!” Awesome mom. Thank you for that heads up. So boom double culture shock.

Now pretty much I’ve just been lamping around my parents house, annoying them when realators and stuff come over because I am such a bum. To be fair I have applied for a LOT of jobs, both English and French, but no one has called me. So until I get a job, I’m going to be laying out by the poolio in my backyard, drinking wine, and occasionally going for a run. Oh and listening to obscene amounts of country music.

I have yet to venture down to Walmart, because I’m pretty sure I can’t handle that. However, I did go to a clA$$ic Roanoke event, First Fridays, where most of the great unwashed of the city come out to drink some burrs and hit on lonely women. Ill be honest, I saw groups of 30 something women trolling for husbands. You could see the desperation in their eyes. Anyways there was a band who was pretty good. They were a Journey cover band and I’ll be honest I like Journey so that was coolio, or nickel as French people say.

we’re with the band ya’ll be jelz

hottiez

you aren’t steve perry!!! you impostor!! but check out those groupies!

coattails of awesomness

So that has been my life. Yay America! Good Lord someone get me a plane ticket back to France…

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Mego In America


Sad but true, I am in America. And I wish I was still in France. But don’t worry, I’m trying to scheme my way into somehow getting back over on that side of the pond by August/September. My new crackpot idea is going to get my Masters Degree there. So… we’ll see how that goes.

Anyways a wrap up of my last week (insert tears here) in France: hanging out. I just hung out all week, bought souvenirs, and pretended I wasn’t leaving. Pretty standard.

But I did spend my last day in Paris with my boyfriend which was super awesome. I did feel bad because I made him drag like 50 kilos of luggage through the streets of Paris, in the rain. I had like 25 kilos I was dragging because for some reason, I accumulated a ton of crap these past 8 months. Idk who knows how that happened. Anyways we spent the afternoon in Montmartre and going to the Sacre Coeur and also Buttes Chaumont. As last days in beautiful amazing countires go, it was nickel! That is what French people say instead of cool. Image

 

So now I am back in the US and I am sad… somebody give me a job in France!!!!

Crocodiles, Beaches, and…?


So update time! I am now done with work (insert sad face here) so I’ve just been chillin’ like a villain… u kno how I do. Ok that was awkward. Anyways so update! I have been actually having a great few weeks! Last weekend I went to a crocodile farm!!!! If your mind is currently being blown by how awesome a crocodile farm is, your brain is totally right. IT WAS AWESOME!!!!! SO. MANY. CROCS. So freaking awesome! I’m not sure why there is a crocodile farm in the middle of France but whatevs, it kicked a$$.

walking in to haunt your dreamz

just letting you think they are lazy, just asking you to come closer…

american alligator… usa! usa! usa!

Then this week I went to the beach in Toulon. Toulon is a port city and has one of France’s naval bases. I visited it for a day in October and I wanted to go back and get  my bronze on. And you better believe I got my bronze on, or should I say burn on. I am fried but in a good way! Except that I couldn’t wear a bra yesterday because my back hurt too much. The price you pay for beauty. Anyways it was beautiful and the food was wonderful. I ate salmon lasagne which was da bomb diggity. I know it sounds weird but it wasn’t it was awesome. I also saw a submarine, and a LOT of naked old grandmas. A lot. Also I spotted an old man playing volleyball in a turquoise speedo, socks, and sneakers. I wish I had taken a picture.

mediteranean coast!!!

check out that submarine yo!! time for france to get her spy on

gettin my bronze on yo

Well on my last days at school, a lot of my kids wrote me letters/cards/etc. and some of them are adorable/funny. Here are some pictures of them:

this girl drew me with a nicki minaj butt… nice

i’m not sure what is going on here but maybe an american disco party? also “amerique” is spelled wrong… amerque what uppp

titanic…why???

french flag, shark fins (requin is shark in french), and virginie (virginia in french)… maybe this is a modernist interpretation of my trip home?

Anyways I’ll be back stateside in 7 days exactly. WIZZEIRD!!! How am I going to continue this blog in the US? Maybe I’ll get clever up in hurr and start talking about food or something. Not that that is super clever but schwatevz. Anyways