As I’m leaving on my Swiss/Italian adventure in an hour, I thought I’d post one little tidbit of advice someone gave me the other day…
Me: I’m going to Switzerland
Person: Oh really? Don’t buy any books there.
Me: Wasn’t planning on it…
Person: Top notch!
Happy Spring Break!!!!
So we all know France is pretty crazy. It’s one of the reasons I love this country so much, you just never know what is going to happen. This weekend there was a giant fair. If I could compare it to something, it’d be like the Salem Fair in Roanoke in July. So if you have ever been to that well you know… ::shudder:: So think, Salem Fair but in Nyons. So apart from all the rides and the hillbillys coming in from the countryside hollows (you always know exactly who those people are, some things don’t change no matter what country you are in), there was a giant parade both days. In America an Easter parade would probably just be filled with giant bunnies and eggs and chicks and lots of pastel colors.
In France, nothing could be farther from the truth. I saw more people in blackface yesterday than I have seen in my life… Oh and people trying to be Asian… I mean I know people in France are not PC at all, but… REALLY?? And on top of that none of the floats made sense… Homer Simpson, Popeye, Buddah, the Taj Mahal, the Loch Ness Monster complete with children dressed as the Grim Reaper. That one confused me the most… maybe they are trying to say the LNM will eat everyone? Idk but it sprayed water out of its mouth which although cool, was not fun when I dont want it. So I took a bunch of pictures of all the random floats and so voila, here you go!
I’m all for cultural diversity, but I’m pretty sure this is how you should NOT do it. But on a bright note, there were “American Country Dancers” who preformed a line dance to Luke Bryan’s “Country Girl.” Yee-haw diggity dawg! Still, wondering what this has to do with Easter but eh some things will never be answered.
I also learned a joke in French… BMW in French is pronounced bei-em-doubleh-vei. The word for foot is “pied” pronounced “pe-ei.” I’m sure you see where this is going. Well if you are walking you can say “yeah I took my BM double pied” (doubleh-pe-ei)… GET IT??? Don’t worry it took me a while too but now I know it and boom joke. But I’d probably try to tell it and be really awkward while doing and and everyone would hate me. But thats the price you pay sometimes.
Well in other news, I’m off to SWIZZ aka Switzerland on Friday and Rome on Monday! Can’t wait! Time to get my culture on peeps. Be jelz!
So I was working with the Spandex King on a family/description/random unit. I’m confused about what the theme was. But at some point it turned into descriptions. I’m just going to put it out there that I’m really bad at describing people in English. I tend to describe people by “fat, skinny, tall, and not tall” and then usually what they are wearing. I don’t properly utilise the English language. Anyways the SK is the same age as my dad (mid 50s) but I thought he was like 70 for the longest time until he randomly told me what year he was born, which was kind of a weird conversation. The fact that hes 55ish and I thought he was 70 should tell you something.
So we had just revised the descriptor words (big, small, tall, thin, fat, ugly, beautiful, old, young) and then SK looks at me and goes “describe me.” I was like oh no… Because how do you be polite when you call someone old? So because I’m horrifyingly awkward sometimes, I go “well um you are tall…i guess… um you have blue eyes… um and you are wearing a red sweater and black shoes” He looks at me and goes “that was actually horrible” well gee thanks…
Then one of the students start to describe him and the student goes “you have white hair” to which he FREAKED out. He was like, “WHITE HAIR!!!! I DO NOT HAVE WHITE HAIR!!! Meaghan what color is my hair??” which to be honest, his hair is that weird blonde/gray/white color that happens once you turn 50 and you were blonde back in the day. So what do you say to someone who might be in denial about their age?
The SK is staring at me and I’m just standing there like WHAT THE HELL DO I DO, so because I’m awkward, I stuttered out “um maybe it is kind of sorta whiteish grayish blonde?” Then I realized he didn’t understand my butchering of English “kind of sorta wihiteish” meant nothing to him because those are words and expressions he has never heard. All he heard was “blonde” and that was all he needed to hear. He goes “see class? I am not old, I am beautiful with blonde hair! Strong too!”
If you say so Spandex King, if you say so.
I’m in a full fledged, balls to the wall, all out war against the formidable enemy of one, maybe two ant colonies. I don’t care what it takes, those suckers are going down. I dont understand how people have ant farms in their houses. That is just asking for trouble. Anyways, the little bastards have taken over my entryway/door and yarn cupboard, and my bathroom. I bought those ant killer houses, which are helping but it is time to get serious. This girl sprayed some sheesh up in here yesterday which killed some of them but it is not enough. Also even though she sprayed the entryway and shower/bathroom area only, she looks at me and goes ” so maybe you should be more careful about food and then you wouldn’t have this problem” I looked her right in the face adn said “yes because I really enjoy eating in my shower” like if the ants were in my food cupboards, table, or around food at all… yeah i’d agree. But my yarn cupboard? My shower??? Explain that one lady.
I was explaining the ant problem to the Spandex King and he thought it was amusing. Then he goes, “you want to know what i do? I buy a ton of arsenic and just put it all over the outside of my house, windows, doors, pretty much anywhere you can think I put it there. Though I don’t know if you could buy arsenic… you’d probably have to go to a lot of shops” um EXCUSE ME. He literally said he just puts ARSENIC all over his house… how is he alive? Another teacher who was sitting there for this exchange was like “I can’t believe you do that” and he was like “well why don’t YOU do it?” and she looks at him like sh is about to slap him and goes “umm because I have children thats why. Im not trying to poison them” He then looks at me and goes, ” well Meaghan you don’t have kids so you should definitely put arsenic all over.” Um thanks for the advice but I think I’ll just buy some Raid…
Also these ants are going down because I stabbed myself in the thumb with a fork trying to open one of those damn ant killing houses. It hurts like a, well you know. I didn’t know a fork could do so much damage. At 7am, that is not what I want to be happening… because thats when I did it. Awesome.
Today in other news, I babysat for Cesar and Paloma. At one point, Paloma looks at me and goes, “you speak funny French” I was like hahaha oh you are so silly! We listened to music and danced almost all morning. It was super fun!
Thats all hizzere!
Sometimes you hear stories and you are just like “there is no way that is true” but then it turns out that it really is. My dad tells me these things the most I think. None are coming to mind right now though. But occasionally here in France I hear these stories and I think, “is it the fact that I don’t understand French, or is this story just really strange?” Then I think some more and I realize that I understand all the words, that the story is just THAT crazy. Wanna hear one of these stories? I heard one today… Also I realize I’m publishing this on April 1st but this is not a joke ( I swear!)
So Stephanie and I had lunch at Martine’s house with a boring British couple who I have some interesting theories on (that are irrelevant to this story), and Martine’s son who is 28, and of course her husband. Anyways so her son says “yeah I had a really interesting night last night” which Nyons is pretty tame so of course I’m curious at this point. He then continues “well my friend came to visit from Lyon, and he drank all afternoon and lost the keys to his car. Then because he was drunk, he decided to harass some pizza restaurant workers, and then sneak into his old bosses’s garden and cause some mayhem. But obviously they heard him and called the police, and it turns out he had a knife on him so he got taken to jail. We bailed him out and then went to the bar and then this morning he realized that he still doesn’t have his keys. We called everyone we know to see if his keys were around but no one has them. He has to go to Paris tomorrow too… He is coming back next weekend to get his car, but it is in a paying spot so he is going to get a lot of parking tickets…”
This is the kind of person that makes me wonder, how did you survive this long in life? I wasn’t totally sure that this is what actually happened but Stephanie said that no that is really what happened. Another question I have to ask is, where was Martine’s son when this guy was sneaking into gardens and trying to cambriolage sheesh? Cuz her son is realllllly calm and level-headed… alas that is a mystery that will not be solved.
I also tried boudin noir at Martine’s today. I thought I was going to throw up onto the table but that would have been rude. Wikipedia defines boudin noir, as ” a dark-hued blood sausage, containing pork, pig blood, and other ingredients.” Maybe my palate just isn’t taht refined, but I’m seriously gagging as I write this. Have fun with that image!
So Ron Burgundy really struggles to pronounce my name. I don’t really understand why because there is a French equivalent and it’s not popular but its not uncommon (Megane). I also pronounce my name that way here just to make it easy on people. Anyways the way he says it is something like “Mye-gunn.” So after class the other day one little girl comes up to me and goes “est-ce que ‘my gun’ ca veut dire ‘mon pistolet’?” [does ‘my gun’ mean ‘my gun’] and I was like yeah that is the translation of that. Ron Burgundy lost it and was bent over laughing so hard he couldnt breathe. I was like yo Ron what is the dealio?? He goes “did you not realize that what she was asking was if your name means mon pistolet” [my gun in French] I was like seriously Ron what are you smoking? And then I realized that the way he pronounces my name kind of sounds like “My gun.” So I confused a child, a lot. Awesome. Moral of the story is, don’t name your kids weird things. No not really, the moral of the story is I need to listen to the chitlins better so I don’t unintentionally tell them lies.
In other news, life has been good recently! It is full spring here and I am happily wandering around in summer sun dresses (with sweaters for modesty), enjoying the soleil and lovely temperatures. Last weekend I spent the day in Avignon exploring and seeing the sights. I did not sing on the Pont d’Avignon unfortunately because it cost like 6 euros entrance which seems a little extreme for a bridge that is only half way across a river… Anyways I had a wonderful wonderful time! Avignon was great. I even got a little sun burned on my shoulders and saw an old fat man in cut off jean shorts soooo… that was the cherry on top.
Also I FINALLY got all my OFII dramz sorted out. I finally went and got the stamp for my passport. It seems silly though because I’m leaving in 6 weeks (triste!!!) even though I don’t want to. I’m finally starting to feel settled in Nyons, to have friends, to feel like I know what life is here and to have to leave so soon… It breaks my heart it really does. But i’ll find out this month if I got re-accepted to the Assistant Program which I’m hoping I did. Not necessarily here in Nyons, but in France in general. I’d be happy.
Today, I bien profité (enjoyed) the gorgeous day here in Nyons by reading in the park. I read for an hour and then promptly fell asleep on the bench but, it is the thought/effort that counts right?
Also if anyone can help me explain what “swag” is, that would be awesome. I can’t seem to figure out how to explain what it is….
Wonderful weekend wishes to everyone!