I Have a Sponge!

So title story: As I was walking home last night, some French gangster-thugs saw me and realized I was the girl that speaks English. I hear them discussing this fact among themselves saying things like “oh there is that British girl. She speaks English, she is from England…” among other things. Then, because they think they are sooooo super cool and witty and funny they start yelling random English phrases at me. The one that I thought was the best tonight was, “ I have a sponge!” Ummmmmm thanks for sharing random French gangster thug? I’m glad you have a sponge, go wash off your disgusting cologne that I can smell from 50 feet away. These guys hang out in a parkinglot pretty much all the time and think they are just the coolest thing ever. Actually I can’t be sure if they are always the same guys or not, they all look the same: too much gel in their hair, LOTS of cologne, murses (man purses), and Adidas tracksuits. I’m swooning just thinking about how cool they are…(not). Moral of the story is, one of them has a sponge and he thinks he is cool.

Yesterday I babysat Cesar and Paloma and it was pretty fun. We made Christmas cookies, which turned into a disaster when Cesar decided to become a monster (he actually called himself the “dough monster”) and smear cookie dough on himself and make Paloma cry. However, as much as he loves terrorizing his little sister he is such a good kid I can’t be mad at him. He is very aware of the fact that my French isn’t perfect and so he takes the time to explain things to me that I don’t know. He always explains the rules of games to me and explains words I don’t know and he translates for his sister who is 5 and doesn’t recognize that I don’t always understand her. Also when we were baking cookies I didn’t realize the oven wasn’t on (how you might ask? I don’t know, leave me alone everything is in Celsius!) and put a bunch of cookies in the oven and then couldn’t figure out why they weren’t cooking. Finally their mom came down and was like, “ummm its not on…” and looked at me like I was a crazy. Well I am so I guess that’s ok.

Care Bears in France... if you are wondering if I watched this, the answer is yes, yes I did

So since it’s December and I’m kind of obsessed with Christmas (who are we kidding, SUPER OBSESSED) I thought I’d post some pictures of the Christmas lights in town. Now lets get real. French people and subtlety don’t go hand in hand and so Christmas decorations here are str8 up gaudy and I love it. Why not make a winter scene in the center of town with 1 an igloo, 2 a penguin, 3 a seal, and 4 a Christmas tree.

Idk bout you, but seals, penguins, and igloos are the FIRST things I think of when I think of Christmas

Or have a serial killer snowman and Santa at the other end of town…

"Don't look at me, I'm Frosty bi*ch!"

This Santa looks like he steals children away in his weird hat, turning them into Santa's workshop slave labor

The other cool thing here is to attach random Christmas trees to literally anything you could possibly attach one to… including other trees.

Tree on tree action

Theres some other random stuff too…

An elf dancing on the moon with fireworks? IDK but I'm pretty sure that I want one for my living room

And then the normal things that are all strangely blue and white…

ReAcH fOr ThE sTaRz

"What color best defines Christmas?" "Oh I KNOW! BLUE TOTES MAGOTES"... at one point this conversation def happened somewhere in Nyons

At school on Tuesday, I made Christmas cards in one of my classes. The teacher asked me to write a bunch of holiday greetings on the board and I realized at one point I had NO IDEA what “Season’s Greetings!” actually means. I told him it meant Happy Holidays essentially. Am I right? I don’t actually know. Also a kid drew a black Christmas tree on his card, talk about a buzzkill!

In other exciting news, there is a teacher’s strike today so I don’t have to work! I was going to bake cookies for my teachers, but maybe its better this way since I couldn’t even figure out how to turn on an oven yesterday. I also made a real French friend, which if you have ever lived in France you know is easier said than done. I am super excited, yay for real French friends!

And if you are bored and want to watch something hilarious, watch this very bad lip read of Rick Perry (SAVE A PRETZLE FOR THE GAS JETS)




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